Big long post full of boring stuff

It's been two... scratch that three weeks since I've posted something. It's not so much that I've got nothing to say or haven't been up to stuff in wow. I've just been sleeping. Yeah... that sounds pretty sketchy to me too. I've tried to come up with a way to divide things up into a quick catch-up post but since I've reached a point where it's keeping me up all night trying to release all the crap in my brains I figure I should stop with the procrastination and just get to the typing.

So I mention that I've been sleeping when not an insomniac with visions of perfect posts flying though my mind and the reason for that is pretty much medical. It's long complicated crap and a story involving pain in my side, being told I'd have surgery, testing, being directed to another hospital for a second opinion, unfiled paperwork, lots of nagging, and finally another doctor's visit all of which has boiled down to the lovely medical diagnosis of we've decided you don't need surgery! Bad news - we have no idea what's wrong with you. Which leads to more testing which won't be for awhile because the doctor is taking a vacation. Alright, fine, sure people are human. They make mistakes. And I really understand that doctors need vacations just as much as anyone. Probably more. I just feel like I'm in a bit of a funk.

But I'm still not at the part where I've been driven to sleep for 20 hours a day. I'm getting there. About 5.. 6... several years ago I was diagnosed as having Wegener's granulomatosis. Big long fancy word involving all kinds of fun and delightful pain but for the sake of this story I'll try and keep it short. Basically it's incurable but it is treatable. And once treated it can either be gone forever or could reoccur. So I get to make a twice yearly visit to my rheumatologist for bloodwork and just a check to make sure I'm still feeling good. I happened to have a visit right after the visit with the other doctor about why I hurt but no one has any idea why I hurt. So he wanted to hear about it. And he thought he had an idea so sent me a medicine to try. The bad side? The side effects - one of which is drowsiness. I take the medicine and end up sleeping for hours.

So what am I really trying to say? I don't really have a clue. I'm just feeling tired. Not physically tired. Just mentally tired. I hate not knowing what to expect from the coming months. I've also started to feel like I'm hiding something. I haven't really talked much about what's going on. My family knows. There are others too. I guess I just don't want to feel like I can use it for an excuse. The ol' I'm sorry I'm not paying attention to beams, I'm groggy and feel like there's something stabbing me in the back right shoulderblade. I feel like such a whiny bitch when I talk about it. But then there's the fact that no ones knows and I'm keeping this big secret. And I hate that. I've never been too comfortable with secrets or for telling people stuff about myself.

But I'm starting to feel better after getting this off my chest. I feel a bit like I shouldn't post this. After all, I wanted to write about WoW. But... It's my blog. I figure Draynee did a pretty good job explaining it in a post about bananas but I had a thought about it as well. I don't blog about facts and how to get the most dps from your frost death knight. I have a personal blog. It's a way for me to share my thoughts. A way to reach out to others. If no one ever reads it, that's ok. The fact that there are those who do read this floors me. And I suppose in a way this might be a way for others to get to know me. I don't want to keep secrets from people I've now come to consider my friends. It's too hard for me.

I think I've been melodramatic enough for one post. Next one will start catching up on all the stuff that I've been working on in-game.